


Meant for Me?

by MysticallyGallavich



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Beauty In The Pain, Gallagvich, Living, Love, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-02-07 04:56:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12833766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticallyGallavich/pseuds/MysticallyGallavich
Summary: Soulmates AU:Ian and Mickey might know the tales they have heard of soulmates but they could never imagine the experience they will bring to eachother.In this tale where bonding to eachother is the only safe place.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I finally got something out with this. I literally had to look up fanlour for this. I did a oneshot soulmates which was easier to come up with than this idea was. So originally it was suggested by gemmavich that i do a multi of this, so thank you to her for having the faith in me to do it. and there was a prompt i received the other day about a soulmate, so this is for them as well. 
> 
> :P

Meant for me? : Chapter One

For a small child, the concept of Soulmates was like a fairytale right, things that stories are made of. The thought that one person was meant for you out there somewhere and one day you would find her. Or some shit.  Mickey had always thought it was weird to think that. But everyone said it.  People who are fated to be together, find each other. Somehow, some way.  But as the boy got older, the only thing he got from this so-called soulmate shit, was a lot of confusion and pain.

 

If he was meant to love some girl for the rest of his life, why was he attracted to the curve of a boys ass, or the tight abs of men, or even the way a mans stubble felt against the back of his neck as they were....well none of it fucking made sense.  Even more, why was he waking up in the middle of the night panting, scared and full of nightmares...What the hell was going on with him? They had started months ago like his energy was being drained out of him sometimes.  Then he would feel this rush of energy. He didn’t understand it, and now? He felt like he was drowning, what was that?  It was new and he really couldn’t describe any of the things he was going through.

 

When the feeling was finally over, he felt his skin burning, Like something, was being burned into his skin, it fucking hurt, He ran to his window to get out of it before he ended up crying out, screaming out. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what was happening to him, he was almost eighteen after all, and he hadn’t gotten any markings yet, he knew that whatever was happening to him right now, had this soul mate bullshit written all over it,  and he had to hide, there was no way he was letting anyone else see what would be on his skin until he did, until he knew exactly what he was facing.

 

“Ian you need help!” He heard them scream, and he rolled his eyes. No fucking shit. 

 

“I need…You to fuck off” He called out as he sat up in his bed that he had been lying in for days.  OK so yeah, they were right, he knew by now, that he was just like his mother, but the thought alone pissed him off, he had fought it but fighting it wasn’t enough. So what was he supposed to do?  Logically he knew that he should get help, before those markings started coming in, before he was destined to meet whomever he was meant to be with because in reality who would want to be with this bag of crazy, fated or not, but at the same time he was curious to see this supposed mates reaction to the things that pulled him under.  

Although the more he thought about it, who could love this, He had watched this manifest itself in Monica over and over and over again and he really couldn’t see how anybody especially someone who didn’t even know him could ever or would ever accept this.  He finally made his way out the door, he needed to run. He still felt weak, but he needed to run.

The need to run outweighed anything else, but it wasn’t his disorder any longer, there was something else, something more. Like someone else was guiding his body, it was unlike anything else he had ever felt before, and he knew, more than anything he had ever known in his entire life was that this was what was true. It wasn’t him running because of his excess energy, he had none, it was someone else running, something that was tied to him, the someone that was tied to him that he had heard about his entire life.  Soulmates. It only meant one thing that somewhere out there someone was meant to be his in some capacity or another, and this person felt the need to run away, the idea wasn’t entirely foreign to him, but it was all-consuming. At that moment he knew, he had to get better. Whoever was out there for him, it was getting closer, more and more of a reality than a someday, and that is what had him running into a clinic in the early morning hours, not too long after.

 

The shivers Mickey felt down his spine the morning after taking over his whole being. He had run to an old abandoned warehouse, it is what he needed to do. It was as if the universe was telling him something was coming for him. He couldn't take it. Where would this lead him? The burning on his skin was like fire now, but he had checked. In the long body length mirror he had stolen from the store last week that he had hung up here, nobody could see before he did, but nothing was there yet, just fiery burning of his skin, and then something happened, He stilled, all of the fire wore out of him, not from his skin but from his insides. Like a numbness coming over him, what was happening, he felt as if he could just lay down and stay there. But it wasn’t like before, the need to not get up, it was something else, what was with this other body he was linked to out there somewhere. He felt the need to make it stop, he felt a need to help whoever it was. That was ridiculous, Mickey didn’t adhere to this soulmate shit, so whoever was out there for him should get used to being alone because he wasn’t having any of it. At all. He couldn’t even contemplate what it would mean if it was what he feared. What if his soulmate was a man? It was entirely possible and not completely unheard of. There wasn’t anything he could do to stop it really. Whatever was meant to e would eventually be, but it didn’t stop him from trying to control it.

Trying to make whatever it was that was happening to him disappear into the night. Because he didn’t want this. He didn’t want to hurt whoever he was meant for because that is exactly what he would end up doing He couldn’t accept it. He already knew what not only loving a man would do to him but to be destined to love a man? What the world would do to him if that were the case. As much as he didn’t think he wanted to turn away whoever was meant for him, he didn’t think he could help but doing just that. How could he not, his father would kill him and this person. But what if that wasn’t the case, what if everything his father said was right, that he was in fact destined to be with a woman. Only those who were damned for the entire of eternity were destined for anything else. But he couldn’t help but wonder what the future had in store for him but for now, he needed to sleep because the overwhelming feeling of sleep was suddenly coming to him.  It wasn’t him either, he knew that the feelings were different.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t decipher his own needs, his own wants fro that of the other person, they were different somehow, he knew when his body was no longer controlled by himself and this was one of those times. He wondered if it worked both ways. When his feelings and desperations took over him he couldn’t help but wonder if he was making someone else feel like he did of no fault of his own. That made him sad for some reason, to think that his won self-hate was arising in someone else's body making them feel as if they were not their own person. He knew how it felt on his end and it fucking sucked and through all of this, when the feeling arose that he felt the need to protect the other person. He felt as if it were his whole life mission to encompass the other person of whom he didn’t know as of yet and protect them and shelter from the world and to Mickey that was the worst of it all. The feeling as though he had to protect another life at all costs. More than his own life, more than that of his families. Over all else, he had to protect t a person that he didn’t even know and overall how fucked up is that. Because how could he protect someone he not only didn’t didn’t know but was afraid to ever know. All of the things It could and would mean for him and this other person was entirely too much to bare for one person.

IN reality, he knew that it wasn’t only one person taking all this on, there was someone else out there who was meant to share all of this with him. That was meant to be him, and he theirs. He just wondered, to himself as he lies on the old mattress on that floor, who and what had him feeling this deep sense of desperation.

 

 

For Ian getting medicated was a hard task for anyone to take on especially himself when he knew that the bipolar was his own feelings and emotions, there were other things that were not. He had never in his life, prayed to hide who he was and suddenly that’s what he was doing. Not like it mattered, he wasn’t really inside any kind of closet. He had always figured his soulmate would either easily be a man, or he would find out it was a woman and it would end up being a platonic sort of soulmate. As rare as that was, he had heard it had been true. That out there, when you find your person it could be that it wasn’t the person you were meant to marry or be fucking on a constant basis but it could just be someone you shared your whole self with. Lately, though he knew that wasn’t true. The things he was feeling, the hate, the pain, it was all from a place of fear. Someone whoever they were was afraid of this. Was afraid to find him, he didn’t know exactly where that fear came from. Maybe the person had felt how messed up he was and didn’t want to be anchored to that for the rest of their lives.

That was Ian’s biggest fear that, in reality, this other person fears weren’t about himself but rather about what he knew of Ian. Ian knew if this soulmate caused him to feel things, it was very possible it was the other way around as well. That his soulmate, the pour soul whoever he was, and yes now he was almost completely certain that this other person was a male. He just felt it in his bones, that this was the person he was meant to be with, but there was something else there. The feeling that it could ever, would never be like he had imagined his whole life.

He knew that what was to happen in the coming months would be painful and not the burning of his skin painful that he had come accustomed to but a much deeper kind of pain. A pain that not even he could entirely predict.. A pain that would swallow him whole if he let it. And that was really what had him terrified. Maybe it was pain that the other person wouldn’t want him, that they would break the ties, and he would be left alone for the rest of his life, because that was the reality wasn’t it. If the other person found a way to break the tie, then the consequence was that they were both left without half a soul and the most important part. He didn’t know all that much about this partner, but he had a feeling that this other person, love of his life, soulmate, wanted exactly that, and that broke him more than any bi-polar ever could.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys suffer through their own hell.

Chapter two :

Mickey stared into the mirror at his chest. His skin was still burning, which meant it was far from over. The image that appeared on his skin. It first it was kind of beautiful, and he had rolled his eyes at it. It was kind of like a lotus flower, but with deep dark edges, but full of color, but then something else happened, something formed around this beautiful thing that had come to be on his chest. A part of him was thankful because he didn’t want some annoying colorful thing on his body, but the other part of him stared at it in wonderment. First barbwire formed around this beautiful thing, and then, like it was right now, one by one, snakes were formed and covered it, Darkness surrounded and covered the beautiful thing, and Mickey had to wonder what that meant? Was it his fault that the darkness had covered up the original design? Was it his inability to accept it?  If it was, did his soulmates match his, did his darkness make the other person dark too? That is what he was asking himself, as the burning finally subsided. Seemed as if his skin was done playing games with his mind today.

\--

Ian looked at his skin in confusion. Last night he saw it forming, the image, it was that of beauty, it had given him hope that there was some light in the darkness, but somehow in his sleep, something had happened. The image he was staring at now as not that of beauty but of darkness. There was one shimmer of color on his chest but the rest was caged in and surrounded by black and white and darkness. Ironic really wasn’t it? All the darkness in his mind, mirrored on his own soulmark. He wondered if it meant the darkness would overtake him forever.

His mind was cloudy sitting in the hospital for these days at a time, did this to him. He was so tired and didn’t feel much of anything except one thing, anger, the anger wasn’t his own but it was there. He wondered to himself what his future love hated the most right now. Was it him? Was it the idea of him?

\--

(Three Weeks later)

Mickey sighed as he woke up, one of his eyes swollen shut. It didn’t bother him too much, it was like a right of passage now. His dad got released from prison again, which meant that Mickey got his usual welcome home. Drunk Terry beating the shit out of him for not being the son that he had always wanted.  The thing that bothered him though, as he wondered if his soulmate had only felt his feelings or the actual physical pain. He kept telling himself he didn’t care but he did. He cared if someone else felt the blood and the pain that was caused by his own father every time he felt like it.  He needed to get the fuck out of here before Terry woke up.

He climbed out of his window and made his way to the abandoned buildings that were his sanctuary, to shoot at things, to feel different or more in control. Of what he wasn’t really sure because the more and more days that passed the less control he felt over everything.

He let his hand trace the soulmark on his body, looking into the old mirror to study it, ignoring how shitty his face looked right at that moment all beaten and bruised.

“If you’re out there somewhere…I’m sorry you got saddled with such a shit soulmate who can never give you what you probably deserve.” He said out into the world, admitting that out loud, that he was sorry he was who he was, that whoever was out there probably deserved love and good things and they were stuck with him. It was kind of shitty justice really.

\--

Ian sat up in his bed, something in his chest tightened, pulling at his skin, it felt like separating it.  He got out of bed, his body feeling sore, for what? He didn’t really know but he got to his mirror to look at his chest and stared at it weirdly. His soulmark was different somehow. But he couldn’t tell how. The darkness was still surrounding the bright color behind it. Only one sliver peaking out, somehow it seemed different. Like a gloom mixed with something else, he couldn’t place. He couldn’t put his finger on it, and it was gnawing at his brain. He then looked into his face in the mirror, and there were light traces of what looked like a bruise by his eye. He touched it.

“What are you doing to yourself?” he asked out into the world. “I’m sorry if the idea of me is so painful. Please stay safe somewhere.” Ian said solemnly.

“Ian?” He heard Fiona behind him, her worried tone made him roll his eyes into the mirror.

“I’m not hallucinating Fi, just kinda sending a message into the world. Soulmate shit, ya know?” he said hoping she would understand. She had at one time thought soulmates was this grand dream to have. He didn’t really know if she felt hopeful about anything anymore though. Then again, did anybody in this house ever stay hopeful about anything.

She just stares at him, probably thinking of what to say, in the end, she doesn’t say anything just hands up a plate with toast and meds on it. That was what their relationship was reduced to right now after all. Ian is crazy like Monica and he needs to be taken care of like a three-year-old. He doesn’t say anything though, he just takes the damn meds, swallows the toast and pushes past her to get the fuck out of the house.

He really had, had enough of his family after all. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think. especially with this verse. :) oh and if you are really into the soulmate-fic verse, hit me up. I would love to chat about it to make this better. 
> 
> :)


End file.
